Updates from March, 2010
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What is better than Video Comments?
The Truth
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St. Patricks Day Hangover Guide
The Truth
You don’t wear green. You are’nt even Irish. But for some reason, you drank your liver into oblivion on St. Patrick’s Day knowing full well you had to work the next day. Well whether you’re catching this on the way out the door, sipping your beverage in the safety of your own home, or in dire need of help a.s.a.p. please for your own good, read on.
Sleep
This is the best thing you can do for yourself at the moment. Your body is being pwned by dehydration and your muscles are sore because they are full of lactic acid. Go back to sleep! (But, finish this article first.)
Water
You probably already pissed out all the water you pounded right before you passed out. Unfortunately it was all over whatever random object it was that you woke up clinging to. You really should drink more. This will help with your sore muscles, bed wetter.
Vitamin C
Just take some. Tablets, fruit, whatever. Trust me, you lost a lot thanks to the 14 Irish Car Bombs.
No Coffee
Coffee will only dehydrate you even further. Yes, it is the sweet nectar of the gods, the brown gold, and the savior soup, but it wont help. It will not wake you up, taste good, or stay in you for very long. I cannot tell you which way it will leave.
Bread
This is a secret that not too many people know. HELLO? I think its common sense. Eat some of this before you drink your water and you’ll save yourself a few aches.
Side Note:
The medical journal BMJ has a list of hangover inducing types of alcohol in order of FuckYourDayUp, to HeyGuyNoProblem:
- Pure ethanol
- Vodka
- Gin
- White wine
- Whisky
- Rum
- Red wine
- Brandy
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How to open a beer with a pen
The Truth
I usually use a lighter, but this explains the basic physics behind it.
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Cybercrime Services
The Truth
pnorth writes “Malware writers that sell toolkits online for as little as $400 will now configure and host the attacks as a service for another $50, according to email offers cited by security experts. A technical account manager at authentication firm Vasco said that cyber crime is becoming so business-like that online offerings of malicious code often include support and maintenance services. He said ‘it was inevitable that services would be sold to people who bought the malware toolkits but didn’t know how to configure them. Not only can you buy configuration as a service now, you can have the malware operated for you, too.’” Read more of this story at Slashdot.
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Anna Nicole Smith's Killers Jailed on conspiracy charges
The Truth
Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend Howard K. Stern was among those charged Thursday.
Another doctor facing charges was expected to turn herself in Monday, authorities said.
The doctors and Stern devised a plan to use fake names so that Smith could be prescribed “thousands of pills,” California Attorney General Jerry Brown said.
“She was obviously addicted,” Brown said. “These doctors had a medical obligation to prescribe medicine in a professional way. Evidence will show this did not happen.”
Smith, 39, was pronounced dead February 8 after being found unconscious in her hotel room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino near Hollywood, Florida.
The former Playboy playmate and reality TV star died from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs. At the time of her death, several prescription medications — both in Smith’s and Stern’s names — were found in the room.
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Madoff goes to jail
The Truth
Pleading guilty to orchestrating the largest fraud in Wall Street history, Bernard L. Madoff said yesterday he was “deeply sorry and ashamed” for his crimes, before being led out of a packed Manhattan courtroom in handcuffs.
US District Judge Denny Chin revoked Madoff’s bail and ordered that he be sent to jail to await sentencing, saying he was a flight risk because of his age and wealth. Madoff, 70, faces life in prison, up to 150 years, and is scheduled to be sentenced on June 16.In his first public comments about his crimes since he was arrested Dec. 11, Madoff, in a dark gray suit and speaking in a soft, husky voice, admitted to 11 charges. When the judge asked if Madoff understood he was under oath, Madoff broke into a brief coughing fit, then replied, “Yes.”
“Try and keep your voice up so I can hear you,” Chin said. The judge read the charges, including fraud, perjury, and money laundering. “Guilty,” Madoff responded.
Later, Madoff read from a six-page statement in which he revealed the scope of his deception - a scheme that cost duped investors billions of dollars. Madoff said he knew what he was doing was wrong, and criminal.
“When I began the Ponzi scheme, I believed it would end shortly and I would be able to extricate myself and my clients,” he said. But that ended up being impossible, he said, “and as the years went by, I realized that my arrest and this day would inevitably come.” [boston]
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