WoWScrnShot_082908_204050Image by Eleonore H. via Flickr

Six steps to enjoying MMOGs again.

There are two kinds of people who piss and moan about World of Warcraft.

First, you’ve got the hardcore, who’ve played the game until the wheels fell off. These obsessive compulsive super nerds have greedily wrung every ounce of content out of the game they could and have nothing left to do but grouse on message boards. This is like spending the night in bed with Megan Fox, then complaining that she smells like sweat.

The other kind of World of Warcraft hater hails from the recovering addict camp. Either he or one of his friends found himself inextricably wrapped up in Azeroth, then blamed the game when his life fell to pieces. Assuming you could call whatever he had before a life, but I digress.

The good news is I’ve discovered, after a long career of playing MMOGs, a way to avoid both pitfalls. It’s called “not playing so damn much,” but telling a hardcore raider not to grind for epic loot is like telling a rock monster to stop smoking crack. And that’s why I’m here to teach you how to play World of Warcraft (or any other MMOG, for that matter) without ruining your life or turning into a message board troll.

STEP ONE: Have friends.

The upside of having friends is that, if they’re cool, they’ll occasionally want to go see a movie, drink a beer or rob a bank with you. These are all great opportunities to get out of the house and away from World of Warcraft. Don’t squander these opportunities, because someday when you’re rotting in a retirement home you’ll be so bored and lonely that you’ll wish you’d gotten high and seen The Love Guru with that pot dealer you met at Subway, Metacritic score be damned!

Another upside of having friends is that some of them might be dorky enough to want to play World of Warcraft with you. Which leads me to …

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